Recablingnessdom

Okay, we're moving. No, really, again. It's only the 4th time in 3 years, yeesh.

But that's not what this story is about. Why we're moving is another blog entry, too.

No, this article is about... utilities.

Specifically, this article is about trying to combine three utilities into one. I think.

First, there is the phone bill. It's annoying, but we gotta have one and that's all there is to it. Second, there is internet service, which is not annoying, but even more vital than the phone in my opinion. And finally is cable television, which I hate having and am particularly incensed that we are getting it, but our family is not a benign autocracy much though I might wish it were and I'm outvoted.

And I can get these services from a single provider, right? so I can reduce this all to one bill, right? Well, sort of.

You see, the telecom I'm dealing with can do all three services. But each service is managed by a separate department. And they do not talk to each other. Heck, they don't even admit the others exist.

Now, I'm already getting internet and cable tv from this company, so I go to add the phone service. After a long phone tree, and waiting on hold, I'm finally talking to a real live human... and they're giving me a nice long pitch, and talking me through all the options, and steering me toward the higher-priced package (which I'd already determined to get having gone through all the options previously online.)

Oh, you want this at your new address? Oh, you'll need to get the existing services moved there first. No, we can't do that, you need to call the other service care number.

Fine. Back to the website, what's the other service number? Oh, great. There's one collection of sales, service, billing, and support for cable tv. Another for internet. A third for business internet (which is what I have.) A fourth for digital phone. A fifth for "digital services." And a couple others I didn't bother to learn anything about. Clearly a company which has strong internal lines of communications (and accountability.) Not.

Eeny meeny miny moe... Call someone. Long phone tree. On hold. Real live person. Oh, sure, they can handle this... Where are you moving to. Uhm, wait a second, this is a new construction? because we show only a single house at this address, not a group of them, and the last service was in 2004. I'll need to bring this to my manager. Who will need to get a local approval that construction is completed, and then get into the property to verify the wiring was installed.

We'll get back to you within a couple of business days.

I move in three business days.